a boy i dated like two years ago just posted a status on facebook about how much he loves his girlfriend but last night he messaged me saying he misses me and if he ever got the chance he wouldnt hesitate to try and kiss me again and i have all the screenshots of that conversation that i am fully capable of sending to his girlfriend i have this kid right by the balls and i am holding the screenshots for the ransom of 25 taco bell chalupas
bisexual guys are assumed to be secretly gay
bisexual girls are assumed to be secretly straight
both are assumed to secretly like men
see what i’m getting at?
Don’t forget that gay men are gay because they lacked a “strong male figure”. And lesbians either haven’t found the right man or are gay because of a guy.
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
"I remember wishing I could be boiled like water
and made pure again."
"What a fine day! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself."
Is it just me or you don’t really realise how drunk you are until you are in a bathroom alone???